Recently, I heard that a girl's boyfriend broke up with her because she refused to tell him how many men she had slept with before they started dating. So, before writing this, I asked around just to know what people thought about divulging the information of body count to their partner, as a woman.
A lot of people I asked, said it is important for the woman to tell her partner if the relationship is serious and, if she is ashamed of her body count she could easily just lie about it.
To say I was disappointed by the responses I got is an understatement. In our society the quality of a good wife material is measured by how well she knows how to cook and how many she has slept with. While a man's prowess or sexual agility is measured by how long he lasts in bed and by how many women he has slept with.
In other words, a woman should be ashamed of her body count or rather she should be mindful of it but, a man shouldn't. As far as I am concerned, promiscuity is promiscuity whether it's done by a man or a woman. A woman shouldn't be subjected to shaming because of the number of men she has slept with it, while men are being hailed by the number of women they have slept with.
The common reason that people give is that morality must be upheld in the society. But, we can't have double standards if morality is indeed the goal.
I also know that I do not owe a man or anybody the information of how many men I have slept with. That's my personal business and no one else's. It shouldn't matter how many men a woman has slept with before she started dating her current man. If a relationship is serious then such things shouldn't matter.
On this issue of slut shaming women, it is saddening to know that women are actually the champions of this terrible culture. As women we should support each other, we should be the last people caught either body or slut shaming other women.
Also, we should raise our children to know that what is morally bad for a woman is also bad for a man too especially, on the issue of sexual morality and orientation.
When we tell our daughters the dangers of unwanted teenage pregnancies we should also remember to tell our sons the dangers of fathering unwanted teenage pregnancies because whether we like it not, it takes two to tango.
Let's teach our daughters that they don't have to lie to impress a man, let's teach them that sex should not be given out as a favour. Lets teach them that just because they are females doesn't automatically make them prostitutes. Let's teach them that catcalling is not a compliment. Let's teach our girls to embrace their sexuality and know their self-worth.
Written By Aminat Sanni-Kamal.
I am a blogger and a writer. My personal blog address is aminatawastories.com I'm an unapologetic feminist and a serious foodie. I love love, I love friendships and I love adventures. The most important things to me are God, writing and family. I'm on instagram , Facebook and Pinterest as @aminatawa and Twitter @amina_tawa